i was watching 一切完美2(a perfect cut) on channel U today and this song kept resonating in my mind:

石欣卉《你没想象中爱我》

today's episode was about a wife who contracted AIDS from sleeping with her toyboys. Wanting to spite & take revenge on her unfaithful husband, she drugged him, and tricked him into sleeping with her. But, she stopped halfway, because she realized how deep her love is for her husband, though she really hates him to the core for cheating on her several times, she still loves him. jealousy & hatred out of love?

while watching, was thinking about hatred. after going through counseling in church last year, the importance of letting go of hatred has become all the more real to me. Is it easy to forgive someone? Definitely not, especially when the person who hurt you is your closest kin. But is it worth it accumulating all these hurts and piling them over the years like garbage? I would say not. In today's episode, the husband & wife cheat each other & bring their extra-marital affairs home to spite their spouse. At the end, she caved in to suicide, because of her tiredness of playing this game. eventually, one will succumb to the pile up either negatively or positively. the saddest way is choosing to run away forever by suicide.