awaiting paradise..

8.10.06

one of my dreams before 21 is to get water baptised, & publicly declare i'm following Jesus all e days of my life (i don't wanna be e selfish me anymore")..

all e prerequisites for water baptism has already been done, God has already paved e way since i was in sec sch, except my dad's blessings...being e strong unbeliever in Christ, getting his blessings for me to go for water baptism is as good as begging God for a miracle, anyway i thought it was impossible, but i had to ask ytd, cos e deadline to submit e form was this wkend...so no more time to think, just do it, n i asked while walking on e roadside -sense of urgency lah!
me" papa, i'm going for water baptism next month.."
papa "huh?"
me "ah you know, 娲�绀�"
papa "when you're 21"
me "but i know i want it now"
papa "21 then say"
me "but papa, i'm very sure i want to go for it now"
*awkward silence*
papa "e form need signature, you get ur mum to sign"
*awkward silence*
(in order to fill up e silence..)
me "papa, will you come witness my baptism next month nov 11?"
papa "NO, i'll NEVER step into church"
me (my heart just broke into pieces)

at that point of time, i felt betrayed by God, He promised me n gave me such a bright vision about my dad n mum witnessing my baptism, e vision was so clear- that they'll be sitting at block c 4th row in e 4th floor audi @ adam. i thought "Lord, if you promise me this, surely you will give it to me", then y now my dad's telling me he'll never...that's as good as promising me an empty promise...
i felt dishearted at that point of time, went to church, finally couldn't control e tears n i broke down, cos i was feeling extremely confused (should i submit e form?) n heart-broken.
but i thank God for encouraging friends in church - who encouraged me to continue pressing on in believing in his promises, there's still 1 more month to e actual day, i'll keep praying n believe in faith!..after service i just submitted e form, in faith, so wait for my good news on 11 nov!

on a brighter note..
ytd i went for my cousin's wedding...amazing ah, this yr,2 of my cousins r married n one on e way...love weddings man, (free food =P)...hee, i sound so cheapskate...e thing that amazes me e most in weddings is when you see all e pics n videos...you see this couple willing to commit their lives to each other, n make it work against all odds...coool right?

Sunday, October 08, 2006